Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Careless Whispers

In the wind of voices you can be carried away. They're invisible, baseless but for the man troubled with the heat, the breeze can be most appealing.

On twitter there's a phenomenon of people climbing over one another to 'break' a story, no matter what little evidence there is for it, no matter how wafer-thin it really is. They report it as fact. The Blues fans who are fearful of their promotion chances turning to dust as the depleted squad grows tired, they're eager to bathe in the news.

"I work for the Blues, next week we're signing Michael Owen". "I work for a national newspaper, I've been told a billionaire is buying the club." "I've read some Chinese newspaper translations, Carson's going to jail!". People with blogs, twitter, trampling on bystanders in order to shout something based on heresay.

Everybody's a news-breaking journalist. And even the news breaking journalists are flinging poo into our mushes and laughing as we scrape our eyes clean and witness the pooey truth.

The Mirror are the latest and our ol'friend James Nursey. 

After writing a match report on the tedium that was Blues/Hull, they included the line: 

"Lewis McGugan will be allowed to join Birmingham from Nottingham Forest on loan until the end of the season."

Note the use of 'will' as opposed to 'might'.

This obviously sent the Blues fans into rapture, thinking that the team was back on track and had finally secured much needed quality reinforcements. Imagine Blues fans as those African children on charity adverts who secure water and start dancing around a well. That was glee you could discern.

Turns out this morning that the line is err....untrue, and Nursey was just probably joking or something. Nursey hands you a Christmas present, you unwrap it, it's a suitcase. Full of money? You open it and its full of wood shavings. He gives you a wet willy and runs off giggling.

Good one.

Colin Tattum's the polar opposite. Spending his days sitting at his desk in Blues Towers, with his servant girls oiling and massaging his bald head. As the emissary to the Blues gods, he farts in knowing acceptance every time they bequeath a message onto him as the official source.

He is the anti-Nursey. Going around systematically quashing the bullshit with harsh dismissals.

I'm not sure who saddens me more. Nursey and his ilk, giving false hope to the masses. Or Tattum, killing dreams, bursting into school assemblies and callously telling the kids there's no God and no afterlife, then drinking their tears.

I think I'd like to live in Nursey's fantasy world. Though that too will only ever end in sadness as the fantasy never materialises.

I'm not believing anything I hear any more. It woes me too much.

Until these players are in Mr Egg in full replica kit having a breakfast. I'll not believe they're Blues players.

Time to wisen up.

* Please note this blog is a satire, should be viewed that way, and grossly exaggerates my own personal beliefs for comedic effect. I don't doubt that Nursey, Tattum and all top journalists only release information they believe to be true and are adequately sourced *

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